My whole childhood was made up of games. Playing games. Some of the games we'd all recognize, with rules and fields. Some of them we made up on the spot. Most of which were played outside, in parks, or streets, or backyards, or school lots. We lived outside. We lived in those games. Basketball, baseball, football, street hockey (yes, even hockey), and a million modifications of those games. If we only had a couple of people we found a way to play football (we called it interception), or basketball (21) or baseball (whiffle ball, or it's evolutionary elite, lemonball). That wasn't it though, there was also tag, cops 'n' robbers, ghost in the graveyard, rock picking at the construction sites down the road; innumerable games. We played all day, every day. I don't have childhood memories of being too tired to go out and play, and no memories of being bored. I don't remember being told that we couldn't go out. Sure, we played organized sports, but the time spent being told what to play and where to play it paled in comparison to the time we spent in what I would call "free" play. Where has that all gone? Where are the kids playing? I drive by empty park after empty park. Where has "free" play gone?
I think we all know where it has gone. It's gone inside. Into our emotionally and physically insulated houses. The kids are still playing; but their inside, on their butts, with some sugary snack and a can of pop in their hands. They are playing video games. They are watching TV. If kids are lucky these days, they play "organized" sports. Do they ask to stay inside? Better question: do we ask them to go out? Or, are we afraid of what might happen? Is there a fear of where our children's imaginations might take them? Or, are we all afraid of our children being abducted? I went to school with Jacob Wetterling. God bless him, and all that his family have been through, but are we so afraid that that may happen to our child, that we protect them from their own imagination? The truth is, that could happen again. That will happen again. But, that can't be it, can it? There has to be more to it. By that rationale, we ought to pull our children out of schools for fear of another random school shooting. Bad things happen to wonderful, innocent people. And, yes, there are awful people in the world. But, isn't fearing life sending our kids the wrong message? I refuse to believe that we are a society so scared of what could happen that we block our children from the joys of what will happen.
I grew up in a dream world. My mother was working as an RN for the U of M, while my father was studying law there. Because of that, we were granted acceptance in a child's paradise. The U of M student housing was an absolutely awesome place to grow up. We used to have 9 on 9 baseball games when I was 5 years old. Nine on nine! In a park. Not organized by anything other than that undying urge to see what was going on outside your house. Who wanted to be inside? Every person living in these concrete walled, tile floored boxes had children; it was a requirement. A glorious requirement. Children from Iceland, Ghana, England, Portugal, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and every other corner of the earth. Needless to say, the pot luck's were insane! Not that a 5-year old experimented all that much. So, there were kids everywhere. Kids playing, freely. That's what we did. Parents only involved themselves as the all-time pitcher or to yell that it was dinner time (in all kinds of different languages). They didn't fear. If anything, we were encouraged to get out. Go. Play. Explore. Imagine. Have fun.
I am, by no means, the perfect father. I'd like to believe that I am, however, an aware one. I have a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. They have spent their fair share of time playing video games, watching movies and cartoons, playing on the computer or ipod. I'm as much of a victim of this sedentary society as you are. It's too damn easy to take the easy way out. I am trying though. I'm trying real hard. (Jules from 'Pulp Fiction' voice) I want my kids to be able to ride their bikes to the park and play something, anything. When they get there, I want there to be other kids, with different versions of games, with different imaginations, from different backgrounds. They need that. We, as parents, need that. We should spend more time playing with our kids instead of just telling our kids to play. We need to show them how to play, what to play, and allow them time to play. We get selfish as parents. If we put on a cartoon, we in turn have time to read the paper, or dive into the computer, or do the dishes. Our parents had things they needed to do too, but I feel like the world I grew up in was different, as stated above, and somehow better. Don't we all want better for our kids than what we had ourselves? Isn't that THE mantra of every parent, ever? That is our jobs as parents. To provide. Not just provide shelter and food, but to also provide time and space for fun. We can change how our children play. Start a "free" play movement. Teach your kids some of the games you played as a kid. And then, play those games with them. Let them teach you games they learn at school. And play them. Gather the neighborhood kids and play some touch football. Be the leader. Don't expect your kids to ask for this. Give this to them. We are a lazy people; too lazy for our own good. We love quick and convenient food, we love exercising in gyms instead of outside, we love sitting on computers, we love looking at our phones, we love high definition television, but we also love our kids. I'd contend that the combined love for all other things in life would come up short in comparison to the love you feel for your children. If we grew up with "free" play and yet, still ended up as card carrying members of this static society, what will our increasingly static children become? Can we live with that result?
Another recent phenomenon in our society is the specialization of sport, or a single sport youth. When someone reaches their adolescence or adulthood and decides of their own volition to focus their time and energy on a single sport, great. Good for them. They made an adult, informed decision. When a parent decides for a child, at increasingly younger and younger ages, that they will be a single sport athlete, that is a problem. That is wrong. That is criminal. Multi-sport athletes, in my opinion, are so much more well rounded. What generally happens is as parents realize that Bobby or Sue are good at something they cut them out of the activities that they aren't as good at. It's an epidemic. It's a controlling parent epidemic. Kids aren't quitters. Parents are boasters. If Bobby is great at football, but average in basketball, why keep him in basketball? If Sue isn't quite getting the handle of lacrosse, but is a great long distance runner, why not spend all that extra time at running camps? Because, the losses, that feeling of not being the best, will make them better people. Not just better athletes, but better people.
Free play will create better self esteem, better athletes, healthier children, deeper thinkers, more creativity, a love for the outdoors, and a sense of community. The kids are our community. Kids should not need constant supervision at the park. Almost every child at the park these days has a parent watching with a hawks eye over them, ensuring they wont have a negative experience. Bumps, scrapes, races run and lost, being "it" in tag for too long, etc are all things we isolate our children from. You went through those things and made it through just fine. Why can't they? We are creating bubbles around our kids. Kids that grow up in bubbles, will eventually live in bubbles. It is time to allow our children to be children. Let them play, free as they want to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment