One of the hardest things for a young coach to do is to separate their former, playing self from their current, coaching self. It seems like something that doesn't, or at least shouldn't matter all that much. I think it does. In fact, I think that most people wrongly associate 'good player' with 'good coach'. I'd contend that the better, the more dedicated the player, the harder it will be for that person to become a good coach. They are two completely different animals. Playing and coaching have one thing in common: basketball. After that, they're not all that alike and require a completely different subset of talents and abilities. A player is a player. A coach is a coach.
It takes conscious effort to exorcise the player. I still haven't completely figured it out. I was an above average Division III player, but by no means exceptional. That said, I occasionally have a hard time explaining how a player should do something. I can show them. I know what it feels like to do it, but explaining the action is the hard part. Former players also have the tendency of assuming their players know things and/or glance over small details that have become second nature to them. If you're going to assume anything in coaching, assume they don't know. I've definitely improved; it's been conscious. I still catch myself going down the delusional road of "hey kids gather 'round while I embellish my dunk on so-and-so or how I gave so-and-so 30". It may be a fun road to venture down, but it's not coaching.
Coaching is teaching, which in some cases is showing, but is more often verbalizing. It's explaining what the player did wrong and what changes they should make to right the wrong. Former players, that haven't effectively exorcised, have a tendency to get frustrated when players can't do something the way they did. The frustration should be their own. Their frustration should be based on the fact that they can't effectively teach the action rather than placing it on the player that cannot perform the untaught action. It's even worse when players don't have the "drive", "dedication", and "love" for the game that the former player, now coach, had. That always sets off the former player. Often, the former player's vision of their drive, dedication, and love is distorted in their favor. They were more likely very similar to the player they are now scolding. Nonetheless, as coaches, it's somehow become our job to implant the impression that we cared more then than they do now. It's the old "I walked uphill both ways to school" approach. I'm not sold it works. Instead, try keeping the focus on them. Talk about their effort and how they can improve it. Keep your glory days out of it. They no longer apply.
And, therein lies the rub. How do we, the former player turned coach, let go of our basketball glory so we can teach? How the heck do we do that? Consciously, that's how. You have to let your playing career go. Go ahead, keep the headlines and box scores in a scrapbook. Let your mom keep the newspaper clippings on her refrigerator. Google your records and show your kids. Do all of that. Keep those memories alive. But, keep them out of your new gym. You have a job, and it's not playing, it's coaching.
Exorcise the player and exercise the coach.
